Breastfeeding story

Right after birth the baby is placed on Mommy's bare breast.  It knows instinctively to latch on and starts sucking.  Mommy's breast feels so good and soft!

During the following weeks, baby feeds very often, even several times during the same hour.  Baby sleeps with Mom so it feels secure and Mom is able to watch baby closely and feed the baby easily.  Mother and baby get used to breastfeeding and learn the right positions with the help of friends and other supportive people.  Other women help the mother with breastfeeding problems if they arise.

Baby and mother grow to love each other a lot and enjoy the closeness of breastfeeding.  Breast gives baby comfort as well as food - and thereby baby grows well and is very happy.  Baby does not need security blankets or pacifiers - it uses Mommy's soft and cuddly two breasts instead!

Somewhere along the way solid foods are introduced, but baby continues to nurse, too.  Even during the toddler years the little child nurses here and there, especially when going to sleep or during times of stress.

Nursings get less and less, being only a few times a week.  Finally the child weans itself willingly, without getting any emotional trauma from leaving its 'security blanket' behind.

Sounds ideal... and it is, but in reality breastfeeding is not always this easy!  Fortunately breastfeeding rates have slowly been increasing since the 1990s, but only 36 percent of US infants are still being breastfed at 6 months, as found by the immunization survey in 2003. [1]  And even though experts recommend exclusive breastfeeding for 6 months, the same survey found that only 41% of mothers at 3 months and a mere 14% at 6 months were doing so. [1]

However, a careful study of statistics shows that 9,000 lives could be saved yearly in the USA by exclusive/extended breastfeeding!  That is because breastfeeding infants have only 1/5th the rate of SIDS, and half the rate of the overall infant deaths.  [8]

Reasons why women fail to breastfeed or wean too early

(These are not in any particular order of importance.)

Bottle-feeding is perceived as the norm. People in the USA and many western cultures simply live in a bottle-feeding culture.  It is very unusual to see a breastfeeding mother, and even more unusual to see a mother nursing a toddler or an older child - yet even World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding for at least two years.  Television, books, and media usually show a baby with a bottle, not a baby at its mother's breast.  Little girls grow up perceiving formula-feeding as the norm.

Breastfeeding is natural but not instinctive. It needs to be learned. However, it is hard to learn about breastfeeding in a bottle-feeding culture. (Bottle-feeding culture at Childfun.com)

Mother thinks breastfeeding is yucky or indecent. Breasts are to feed babies - if that was not so, why do breasts start making after mother gives birth (or tiny amounts even before)?  There is nothing indecent about feeding your baby.  Think about a cat mother feeding her kitties, or a dog feeding her puppies.  Everybody just thinks that is cute and natural - the same is true for humans feeding their babies.

Mother's past sexual abuse. One out of every five American women has been sexually abused during childhood, and it is estimated about 20% of those show significant symptoms as adults.  There are wide reactions to past sexual abuse: some women who have been sexually abused cannot tolerate the thought of breastfeeding while others find breastfeeding as a healing experience.  Especially difficult situations include: the early postpartum period with its high demands; night-time feedings since the night remind the mother of earlier abuse; and feeding an older infant who plays with the breast and smiles at it.  These mothers may benefit from extra support of those around her or from mental health professionals, from partial pumping/bottlefeeding, and from extra reassurance to know what is normal behavior by the baby and how to redirect baby's behavior. [10]  On the other hand, breastfeeding can actually reduce child abuse and abandonment by mothers.[11]

Husband or partner's negative opinions.  Unfortunately many men think woman's breasts are sexual organs, so they can become jealous over the nursing mom's breasts, or start thinking that the baby is doing something indecent and pervert when it feeds.  Breastfeeding is NOT a sexual act but simply a feeding act.  It can be pleasurable to the mother (though also painful!), but it is not sensual pleasure, just a good feeling of being close to your baby.

Unsupportive friends or family members. Since bottle feeding was the norm in the near past, often a new mom's own mother and other relatives know very little about breastfeeding or even have negative experiences, and cannot support her.  In fact, she might hear all kinds of undermining comments from ignorant people who don't understand the breastfeeding process.  If that happens, you can try to explain to them in a nice way what the facts are.

Lack of knowledge of medical care personnel.  Some doctors know very little about breastfeeding or know nothing about the dangers of infant formula, so won't really encourage the woman to breastfeed, or simply won't influence the mother in any direction.  While there are many pediatricians and obstetricians who do strongly support and speak for breastfeeding, you cannot count your doctor being that way unless you choose who is going to be your doctor.

• A majority of pediatricians believe that breastfeeding and formula-feeding are equally acceptable methods for feeding infants. [2]
• Physicians and nurses in the U.S. routinely receive gifts, office supplies, meals, a year's supply of free infant formula for themselves or a relative and even pricey vacations from the infant-formula marketing representatives who haunt their offices.[3]

"Women also need to know about the very real 'risks' of bottle-feeding, including higher morbidity and mortality during childhood, higher rates of cancer and diabetes in adulthood, and poorer cognitive development."
Katherine Dettwyler in  The Cultural Context of Breastfeeding in the United States

Problems in breastfeeding.  These include sore nipples, milk supply problems, thrush, infections, etc.  By far most of the breastfeeding problems are solvable with adequate information and support.  One of the usual initial problems is sore nipples, or simply pain while nursing.  That is very common, and usually subsides after about one month.  Just hang in there, make sure the positioning is right and baby has a good latch, and find support from someone or from internet message boards.  It will get easier later and you'll be glad for your decision.

Mismanagement of breastfeeding. Breastfeeding works best when baby is put to the breast very soon after birth, and is allowed to feed as frequently as she wants - which is called 'cue feeding' or 'demand feeding'.  Mother's milk supply is built up by the frequent feeding (which may mean every 30 minutes to every two hours), and this is important especially in the beginning.  But wrong ideas about 'nursing schedules' still persist, based on bottle-fed babies' needs.  Not feeding frequently can lead to low milk supply.

Another pitfall is that many women don't understand the danger of supplemental formula in regards to the "demand=supply" principle of milk production.  The more formula you give to your baby in addition to breast milk, the less milk your breasts produce.  Formula companies know this, and that is why they are so eager to give you free samples from every direction.

Difficulties with public breastfeeding.  Even though breastfeeding in public is perfectly legal in the US in any place where the mother and baby would otherwise be allowed, women have had to leave swimming pools, supermarkets, restaurants, malls etc., or they have been told to nurse in the bathroom.  Since breasts are perceived as 'sexual', it is often hard for women to be brave enough to breastfeed in public because they fear other people's attitudes about exposing their breasts.[5]

Because of the general attitudes American society has about breastfeeding and of breasts, many women won't feel totally free and at ease when nursing in public, but in reality most mothers, when they get over the initial fears, find that the general public doesn't pay that much attention to the act, for the most part.  People can almost seem to avoid watching the nursing mother in order to not make her feel uncomfortable.  In fact, if someone appears to be watching, it may very well be that the person is just plain curious to see this precious moment of mother nurturing her child.

Misconceptions about weaning. Many people in US think that breastfeeding is only for the first couple of months of an infant's life, or mostly up to year.  Experts don't agree with this.   World Health Organization (WHO) recommends breastfeeding to 2 years of age, and American Academy of Pediatrics clearly states in their policy statement Breastfeeding and the Use of Human Milk, "Exclusive breastfeeding is ideal nutrition and sufficient to support optimal growth and development for approximately the first 6 months after birth." "It is recommended that breastfeeding continue for at least 12 months, and thereafter for as long as mutually desired." [9]

In many other cultures worldwide and in most of the history children weaned even much later.  Comparing humans to our closest animal relatives, Katherine Dettwyler has estimated that the natural age of weaning in humans would be between 2.3 and 7 years.[6]  Many women in the world and even in today's America do let children self-wean, and those allowed to do so, usually wean between 2 and 5 years of age.  The benefits of breastfeeding don't stop at any age.  Many people think little children need to drink cow's milk - how much better it is when toddlers can get human milk with just the right nutrients for humans!

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• Support and breastfeeding problems
• Breastfeeding information